Dating is complicated. Finding love living abroad can seem impossible.
I have lived abroad for more than 15 years. I had just gotten married when I left New York and moved to Singapore, so I had never experienced it. Dating outside the US. But over the years, I’ve seen it go both ways: some lonely foreign friends have found love, while others have Back home, dating abroad was very difficult. A woman in my network also moved back to New York, met a man, and moved back to Asia with him after tying the knot.
After spending more than a year editing stories about various women’s experiences for Business Insider — a Single Mom in Spain Who makes it a point to avoid single dads, a teacher in China who relies heavily on the support of his therapist while searching for Mr. Right. – I have compiled a list of dating advice.
Most of them have told me one thing in common that they have no interest in returning home.
1. Can benefit from wrong dates
People are usually looking for more than just love Moving to a new city; They also need friends.
Sonya Matejko Moved from US to Vienna 31 in 2022. She finds that dating is a great way to explore a new city. “I quickly learned that dating a local is the best way to discover the best parts of a city and discover its little hidden gems,” she said.
Matejko also credits dating with helping her make friends.
“We realized on a date that we weren’t a romantic fit, but he’s still one of my closest friends. And that’s not the only time – a guy I dated in Poland also became a dear friend, and I even went to live with him in Brussels to celebrate getting his new job,” she said.
2. Long distance can only last so long
Dena Roche first A long distance relationship It lasted for three years and, at first, felt like a fairy tale. They would meet in cities like Rome, London and Paris and spend long periods of time in each of their hometowns, but she said it never felt real.
“Even when we spent time in each other’s worlds, it had a vacation-like quality. We had to make the most of the little time we had with each other, we couldn’t be bothered with the mundane tasks that make up life,” she said.
Luckily for Roche, the second she met someone who lived far away, she was able to relocate.
3. Plan a dating event
Candice Gallagher faced challenges with dating in the US, England and Switzerland, but she found it hardest when she Went to Singapore In 2019.
“I found that there was a very small pool of people who fit into the cultural space I was working in. It was like I was trying to fish in a very small pond,” she said. about his experience.
When she came across a video on TikTok of a group in the US that had set up a dating event, she was inspired to do the same in Singapore.
“I ended up hosting a dating event called ‘Singlepore’. It was very attractive. It reflects a desire for offline, real-world ways to connect with people,” she said.
4. Find a therapist for emotional support
Danielle Marcano was bored with her life in Philadelphia and applied for a job in northern China. She moved abroad in 2019 at the age of 25, and although she is satisfied with her career progress, she finds Dating is the most challenging Part of his new life abroad.
Language barriers made it difficult for her to date local Chinese men, and she said most of the single expats she encountered had little interest in anything serious.
Despite struggling through heartbreak and self-doubt, she’s determined to stick with it: “I’m confident that the support system I’ve built here—my therapist, friends, and life coach—will help me build the confidence I need to bounce back. to the dating scene.” Weekly online therapy has become mainstream.
5. Don’t expect dating to work the same way it does at home
Cultural expectations differ when it comes to datingSo it is helpful to get some local insights.
On top of that, personality can get lost in translation.
Nicola Prentice, single expat, moved to Spain in 2012. Over the years, she Tried dating in spanish But he finds that she never feels like herself.
“I have come to prefer people who speak English and don’t make fun of my Spanish, just so they know the real me and not this version of me who is sometimes bold, sometimes overconfident and often careless. After all, I wouldn’t date myself in Spanish,” she wrote.
Who pays on the first date can also cause confusion. In the US, dating is generally casual, and in heterosexual relationships, it has long been common for men to pick up the tab.
A woman who was single when she Went to Spain He was surprised to find that most of the local men who went on dates expected to split the dinner bill.
When local friends told her it was a common practice, she realized there was no need to be offended – or assume the man had no potential for her.
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